Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Let's just be honest.....

My blog use to be an escape for me. I use to rant on here and feel better and I guess I want to get back to that. As you all know I am at the lowest point in my life I have EVER been and boy does it suck. I just pray every day for better days. 2 months to the day exactly of my split from Joe he posted pictures of him with the GIRL and kissing her. His mood said loved. I just lost it.I sat here and wept and even wondered how someone I spent 9 years with could be so heartless?? I think some random girl at a bar would not have bothered me. But this was the girl he ruined my marriage for.:0(
I am not angry with God. I am actually spending a lot of time at my church, but I am just confused. How much more do I have to hurt?? How much worse does it have to get?? I recently turned 29. I want nothing more than to be a mom, but I sadly think that my chances for that are getting slimmer and slimmer. It could take YEARS to find someone and maybe by then it will be too late to have kids. Joe never was ready to have kids with me but the GIRL has a 3year old son. That kills me too. I am trying to be strong, and some days I am fine. Then there are days all I do is cry. I am just in need of a lot of prayer right now. Things are just hard.

Monday, August 24, 2009

......

I know that God will not give us more than we can handle...but right now I am wishing that he did not trust me so much. I am having a hard week...and it just started.

Monday, August 17, 2009

My not so happy life...

Where have I been for the last 3 months?? Well I have been SUPER busy. For those of you that do not already know, Joe and I are getting a divorce. He has A LOT of issues still from Iraq and will not get help or admit that there is a problem. I have tried and tried to get him to get some help, but ultimately he has to want to do it. So... I have a new job and a new place. I live in a one bedroom apartment close to campus and I work at a flower shop. I am doing ok. There are days I am angry, sad, lonely... and then there are days I tell myself I can do this. I have been getting super involved in a church and that is helping. I am leaning on God, Family and Friends to get me through this. I KNOW that God did not give me more than I can handle...it's just some days I wished he did not trust me so much!
So....if there is anything I ask during my darkest days ahead it's that you PRAY for Joe. Pray that he finds God and peace within himself for the past.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

My newest adventure....running!

That's right the asthmatic, wimpy girl took up running! I started running with Joe a few weeks ago. He needs to get ready for ANOC and I need to get past my 15 pound slump...so I took up running! I have lost 15 pounds but I am kinda at a stuck spot so I thought that this might push me forward and keep me motivated. But... I need some advice! I need some good running music. I have none and it's sometimes hard to find anything I want to run to. Also, I need suggestions on good running shoes? I have some Nike's but they are not doing to trick. I have scoliosis so the constant pounding is not doing me any favors. I need something that might help with my back pains.(If that is possible). Any suggestions are very welcomed!:0)
THANKS!! I hope all is well.:0)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

My new Tattoo


All my Germany ladies will appreciate my new tattoo!!! I got it last Tuesday and HOLY CRAP it HURT!! My other 2 did not so I went in with the same mentality....not good! I am pretty sure this is my last tattoo. That's enough torture for me. This pic was taken with a camera phone. I will take with my real camera this week.

Rosie has a special meaning to me. Not only was she our role model while our husbands were in Iraq, but my great grandmother was a Rosie. She worked on the flight lines during World War 2. My father has knives she made out of airplane parts. So Gertrude Tingler....this ones for you!!!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Susan Boyle - [I dreamed a dream] - Britains Got Talent [HQ]

Absolutely Amazing!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Oklahoma fires

If you have not heard on the news this is what is going on in Oklahoma right now. The fires spread up and down I-35 and came within 10 miles of hitting our house. they did a recommended evacuation of my neighborhood. This report does not mention it, but Stillwater was hit by the same fires that hit Midwest city. It was a pretty scary day yesterday.

Oklahoma official says blaze intentionally set
Oklahoma AP AP – Nathan Christmon, left, surveys the damage to his home in Midwest City, Okla., Friday, April 10, 2009, … By SEAN MURPHY, Associated Press Writer Sean Murphy, Associated Press Writer – 1 hr 48 mins ago
MIDWEST CITY, Okla. – A wind-whipped blaze that destroyed more than 50 homes in this Oklahoma City suburb was intentionally set, fire officials said Friday.

An area near a wrecker service where the fire started Thursday is frequented by teenagers from a nearby high school and investigators were looking into the possibility that they might have set the blaze, Midwest City Fire Marshal Jerry Lojka said.

Authorities have not identified any suspects or determined a motive, he said.

The fire, one of several statewide driven by strong winds and fueled by dry grass and brush, engulfed homes throughout east Oklahoma County, including in Midwest City and Choctaw. So far, more than 100 houses had burned down in the state and 49 people were injured, the Oklahoma Department of Emergency Management said.

Fire investigators were still trying to determine what caused the other fires.

The battle against wildfires in western and central Oklahoma and across the state line in Texas eased Friday as 60 mph winds diminished, allowing evacuated residents to return to neighborhoods with charred homes, blackened vegetation and ruined cars. At least three people were killed in Texas.

The fires began Thursday afternoon along the Interstate 35, the main north-south highway through central Oklahoma. Parts of the highway reopened Friday after being closed for several hours.

Oklahoma Gov. Brad Henry declared a state of emergency for 31 central and southern Oklahoma communities, which allows state agencies to speed the delivery of needed resources. Texas Gov. Rick Perry on Friday asked FEMA to issue an emergency declaration that would provide federal assets and resources for 199 threatened counties.

Residents evacuated while the fires raged were allowed to return home. For Sammetra Christmon of Midwest City, there was only a blackened, smoking ruin where her home had been.

"The memories, the photos, this is the house I have worked all my life for," she said Friday as she and her family picked through the smoldering debris. Her 9-year-old daughter was taking it hard.

"She's devastated, just in tears this morning," Christmon said. "This is the only house she's ever known."

Water-dropping helicopters couldn't assist the ground effort Thursday because winds gusted to more than 60 mph in some areas.

"Anytime you have high winds and low humidity, it's just the perfect storm for wildfires, and that's what's happening here," Oklahoma Emergency Management Director Albert Ashwood said.

In northern and central Texas, blazes that began Thursday continued to race across thousands of parched acres Friday, overrunning the towns of Sunset and Stoneburg and forcing the temporary evacuations in several others.

Linda Freeman, who was told Thursday to evacuate her mobile home in Sunset, said she went to her son's house about 10 miles away where "he turned on the news, and I saw my home burning." On Friday, all that remained were the steel stairs that once led to her front door.

The town's fire chief, Alan Campbell, said nine homes had burned to the ground.

Montague County Sheriff Paul Cunningham said Friday that a woman died, possibly from a heart attack, after calling for an ambulance in a fire near Bowie on Thursday. WFAA-TV of Dallas-Fort Worth reported two other fire victims: the television station's former reporter, Matt Quinn, and his wife, Cathy. Their son was injured and was in fair condition at Parkland Memorial Hospital in Dallas, the station said.

The Oklahoma Department of Emergency Management said a firefighter helping battle a blaze in Lincoln County, northeast of Oklahoma City, was hospitalized with burns and another person was severely injured after losing control of a vehicle on a smoke-covered road in Stephens County in southern Oklahoma.

Other injuries ranged from minor to moderate, officials said.

At the Midwest City Community Center, where about 75 residents flocked after flames threatened their homes, Kanisha Busby waited for her parents to arrive. Their home, where she grew up, was destroyed but nobody was hurt.

"It's hard, but all that stuff is material things that can be replaced; lives can't be replaced," Busby said. Residents were given sufficient warning to evacuate, and her father also managed to save his dog, she said.

Susan Staggs, who lives near Midwest City, said Friday that she and her neighbors who gathered at an evacuation point Thursday night could see the glow of flames, but didn't know if their homes were being engulfed.

"After dark, you could just see the flames crossing the road," she said. "I had two cats in my house and my horse and goats were still there." Her home was spared, it turned out, because a pile of gravel and dirt from her neighbor's driveway project served as a firebreak. But the neighbor's home was lost.