I'm BACK!!!

Wow...it's been since September 2009 since I have written anything. So...what's been going on since then? I am offically divorced. I moved to a new apartment June 1st. It is two times as big as my old one. I have a roomie, his name is Nick. NO NO NO NOT my boyfriend! Just a good friend who needed a roomate too. He is on the OSU Wheelchair basketball team. Yes, he is in a wheelchair, but he can walk. Just not too far or well.:)
I am taking summer school and when school starts in the fall I HOPE to be 3 semesters from graduating!!! I will start student teaching in the spring semester and again in the fall 2011. I have 2 semesters of student teching. I CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been VERY busy in my church. I attend a church here called Life Church. It has changed my life. I would not have made it through my divorce without my church.
All in all my life is GOOD! I am doing AWESOME!!! :)

Let's just be honest.....

My blog use to be an escape for me. I use to rant on here and feel better and I guess I want to get back to that. As you all know I am at the lowest point in my life I have EVER been and boy does it suck. I just pray every day for better days. 2 months to the day exactly of my split from Joe he posted pictures of him with the GIRL and kissing her. His mood said loved. I just lost it.I sat here and wept and even wondered how someone I spent 9 years with could be so heartless?? I think some random girl at a bar would not have bothered me. But this was the girl he ruined my marriage for.:0(
I am not angry with God. I am actually spending a lot of time at my church, but I am just confused. How much more do I have to hurt?? How much worse does it have to get?? I recently turned 29. I want nothing more than to be a mom, but I sadly think that my chances for that are getting slimmer and slimmer. It could take YEARS to find someone and maybe by then it will be too late to have kids. Joe never was ready to have kids with me but the GIRL has a 3year old son. That kills me too. I am trying to be strong, and some days I am fine. Then there are days all I do is cry. I am just in need of a lot of prayer right now. Things are just hard.

......

I know that God will not give us more than we can handle...but right now I am wishing that he did not trust me so much. I am having a hard week...and it just started.

My not so happy life...

Where have I been for the last 3 months?? Well I have been SUPER busy. For those of you that do not already know, Joe and I are getting a divorce. He has A LOT of issues still from Iraq and will not get help or admit that there is a problem. I have tried and tried to get him to get some help, but ultimately he has to want to do it. So... I have a new job and a new place. I live in a one bedroom apartment close to campus and I work at a flower shop. I am doing ok. There are days I am angry, sad, lonely... and then there are days I tell myself I can do this. I have been getting super involved in a church and that is helping. I am leaning on God, Family and Friends to get me through this. I KNOW that God did not give me more than I can handle...it's just some days I wished he did not trust me so much!
So....if there is anything I ask during my darkest days ahead it's that you PRAY for Joe. Pray that he finds God and peace within himself for the past.

My newest adventure....running!

That's right the asthmatic, wimpy girl took up running! I started running with Joe a few weeks ago. He needs to get ready for ANOC and I need to get past my 15 pound slump...so I took up running! I have lost 15 pounds but I am kinda at a stuck spot so I thought that this might push me forward and keep me motivated. But... I need some advice! I need some good running music. I have none and it's sometimes hard to find anything I want to run to. Also, I need suggestions on good running shoes? I have some Nike's but they are not doing to trick. I have scoliosis so the constant pounding is not doing me any favors. I need something that might help with my back pains.(If that is possible). Any suggestions are very welcomed!:0)
THANKS!! I hope all is well.:0)

My new Tattoo

All my Germany ladies will appreciate my new tattoo!!! I got it last Tuesday and HOLY CRAP it HURT!! My other 2 did not so I went in with the same mentality....not good! I am pretty sure this is my last tattoo. That's enough torture for me. This pic was taken with a camera phone. I will take with my real camera this week.

Rosie has a special meaning to me. Not only was she our role model while our husbands were in Iraq, but my great grandmother was a Rosie. She worked on the flight lines during World War 2. My father has knives she made out of airplane parts. So Gertrude Tingler....this ones for you!!!

Susan Boyle - [I dreamed a dream] - Britains Got Talent [HQ]

Absolutely Amazing!